Subject: Very Funny Oldies

Posted on Mar. 29, 2007 at 2:24 PM - 1 Comments - Post Comment - Link

Fighting the mold

Posted on Feb. 14, 2007 at 12:56 PM - 0 Comments - Post Comment - Link

Things have been really busy here of late. We have a mold problem and it is steadily getting worse. I am trying to get rid of it the best I can. It is on the walls in the bedrooms, the top of the wall in the bathroom and starting on some of the windows. All that time waiting for the inside of the main rooms of the house to be painted and he did a crappy job. He did not use killz or what ever it is called. He just painted over it. he did not even sand some areas. That is what we get for renting from family. If I could get my husband to move, I would but that is not an option. So I am busy. Anyone know of anyway of killing it. I got a spray bottle and used bleach. And I tried another method of using again a spray bottle filled with 2 tbsp. of borax, 2tbsp. of vinegar and 2 cups water. It is just everywhere and each method I tried only gets rid of some of it.

My back is getting better but I have to watch it. The more I work, the more it hurts but I am able to do some of the things I could not do months ago so it is getting better. The insurance still wants me to settle but I know i have 2 years to settle and it has only been 1 year. I want to be sure it is better because once you settle, that is it. Any pain or problems you have after you settle comes out of your pocket.

It is cold here in Va. We has some sleet and ice last night. Schools ran and hour late where i live. They are calling for more this weekend but compared to NY we have had it easy. I feel bad for anyone who is getting hit by all the snow and ice. NY in some places had over 100 inches or so the news said.

I am going to go watch my DOOL before I get back to work. Hope everyone is good and please pray for my daddy. He has the walking amonia.

Take care.

Some Sights Of Interest

Posted on Dec. 1, 2006 at 1:02 PM - 0 Comments - Post Comment - Link

1. http://www.100megsfree3.com/arlana/freebies/new.htm   This is from Arlana's freebie site. Today is the first time I have ever heard of it but it looks like it has a lot to offer.
2. http://www.freebiedirectory.com/  Here is another new one- to me anyways but it has seemingly a lot to offer.
3. http://www.babychatter.com/  This one is a little different. This has tons of baby names from every origin of life. It also has free baby stuff but not sure if you have to join anything or not.
4. http://www.coolfreebielinks.com/  So far this one is my favorite but as with all these other ones I am listing, they are new to me but I seen a lot of free offers for razors and I like getting those. I haven't paid for a razor in like a year. That helps out on raising a family of four on one income.

Things have been really busy. I am getting stronger but by days end, I am hurting. My back is getting better, little by little but it has been almost a year now since the accident occurred and I would have thought I would be healed by now. Gaining the extra 25pds. does not help. I have found a diet that works but it is hard to stick to it when my daughters birthday is in  a few days, Thanksgiving just passed and Christmas is on  its way and I got my own birthday coming up. I think I will wait until the first of the year. This is such a easy diet to follow so all you bread lovers, listen up. All you got to do is eat 10-12 pieces of Whole wheat bread a day. Natures own has an all wheat bread with double the fiber and you get used to the taste. Now I don't care for eating white bread anymore and I used to be just the opposite. I tried it out twice now and it seems pretty good. I lost 5 pds in a week but then I started getting bread at Panera bread company and I gained like 10. So It has got to be the all whole grain breads or it won't work. But you get to eat anything else you normally would eat but I promise you, if you eat the 10-12 pieces a day, you won't eat as much of the other stuff. That is a surprisingly cheap way to diet.

Everything here is ok. I am reading a really good book on boundries and I am learning a whole new way to communicate. Some of the stress is easing up because of it and I am just getting started. I am no longer screaming for my husband to hear me and he is getting a whole lot better on "not" interupting me to get his point across. And I got a few, "I'm sorry" or "I did not mean to yell at you" and they yelling is being cut down "a lot". For any of you who have husbands that are like mine : controlling, older than me but almost 12 yrs., thinks he is always right, calls you naive, is the alpha male and makes sure you know it, then this book will help you out a lot. I don't doubt my husband love for me. I know he does. But he has a hard time showing it. He is not equipt with the necessary skills to have a meaningful relationship with me or anyone else. And because I love him so, I am finding ways to "fix me" and in return it is "fixing him". I am responsible for my feelings and the words that come out of my mouth. Usually in anger, I say things I don't mean and usually end up regretting those words. Words can be so hurtful and when you are hurting, you want to return some of those hurts to the one who is hurting you. But I am leaning to control myself. I am choosing my battles. And I am choosing what I will accept and what I won't. There are a lot of books out there on boundries. I am on my second one. Anyways, check it out if you are like me and married to someone you love but can't deal with all their ways and actions.

The girls are doing really good. Sam is grounded from the internet and playstation during school days. Her grades have slipped and it is because of not doing homework or studying. She is so bored but oh well. That was her choice to come home everyday and look me in the eyes and say, "no mom, I don't have any homework tonight." Needless to say, those grades are coming up pretty quick. I have had it with giving in to please everyone. Now when I say something, I stick to it and no one will try to beg me to reconcider my choice after only a few days.

Sam did not make it on the schools basketball team. She is so upset on that one.It was some kind of mix up with the coach on what position she wanted to try out for. I think it is more politics than anything. Heather will be 13 in a few days. So she is excited. For her big gift, she wants and I-pod, with the charger and all the fancy trimmings. That will be her big gift and other than a ice cream cake, a dinner and a night out treating her and one of her friends to a night of movies at the local theatre, pizza and a mall trip, that will be all that we can afford. The I-pod is almost $250.00 alone, once you get the I-pod, charger, stand, the paid card to download all the songs on it and I am sure I am missing a few other little perks but you get the point.

Well, I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. With us, it was just me, Ed and Heather. Sam went over her daddys house to celebrate it with his family. I try to be nice and fair and let her go celebrate a big holiday with them and I want her for Christmas and I will not bend on that one. I don't really care of any other holiday if she stays or goes but for Christmas and her birthday,she is with us.

Well, I am going to run. Days of our Lives is coming on and I love watching it especially on Fridays. Hope you all have a good weekend.

Love---Lori

Been busy

Posted on Oct. 5, 2006 at 8:03 PM - 1 Comments - Post Comment - Link

Hi Everyone,

Sorry it has been awhile. I have been so busy. We got everything for the homecoming dance. I am so broke. It is not even funny. But Sam is happy, for now anyways. She is going to look so good. She is really excited.

Heather is going good. Spanish 1 is driving her crazy. She said it is kind of hard. She is on honor roll and never complains, other than the amount of time required for homework and the weight of her bookbag but if she says it is hard, then I believe her.

I finally got lucky and got a comforter set at JC Penny for $65.00. I have went between them and Sears but I could not get no help from Sears so they lost out on a potential customer. But for 2 weeks, I went. And I fell in love with a comforter set but it was $159.00 and I could not afford that so I was so surprised when I found the same exact one priced down to $65.00. What a deal. I got the comforter, complete sheet set, shams and the bedskirt. The only disappointment was that they did not have curtians to match. That part sucked. Now I am looking for curtains. And really I only want the valance. So hopefully, I will get lucky again and find curtains to match.

I am getting ready to quit smoking again. I feel foolish to have started back after almost a year but with everything going on, stress.... need I say more. Still, I should have tried harder. I got the Nicotrol Inhaler which helped me quit last October so when I feel strong enough, I will try again. I did stop for 3 days, until yesterday and well, I blew my cool. Just stressed out.

Ed seems to be trying a lot harder at showing me respect and talking to me about how he is feeling, which is a switch but a good switch. Maybe he sees me trying so hard at everything and getting depessed and all. Either way, it is welcomed after all these years.

I have been reading a lot of books on Controlling people, aggressive people and setting boundries and I am learning a lot, especially about myself. Maybe with me, setting boundries on what I will accept and not accept is what has made Ed turn around some. I just want a healthy life. A happy life. Don't we all?

I am still going to the physical therapy. The sent me back to my Primary care and he put me on Neurontin and said if that don't help then he will put me on anti-imflamitories and a muscle relaxer. The physical therapy group is getting more aggressive with the therapy which is leaving me hurting and sore but they are trying to get me back to where I was before the accident so I understand. I wish all of this were over. The night before last, I was hurting so bad after a full day of running errands, grocery shopping, the house, dinner (need I say more) that I could not lay down on the couch and I tried sitting on the couch and I ended up with ice and pain medicine. I was in tears. I hate taking the pain medicine because it makes me so tired and lazy but at least I am not crying and I can make myself still do what is expected and needed of me. I am scared the doctors will tire of me needing the pain medicine because I already take it for the migraines but I don't know what else to do. I have got to function. My family needs me and I have my father-n-law, I try to help out with beings that he is unable to drive and gets lonely. I just keep praying that everything will be ok. I know it will but it is just taking a long time.

I have not heard anything in awhile from the other guys insurance. I am not sure if that is a bad thing or not or am I suppose to be calling him? I have never had anything like this ever happen to me so I am not sure where I stand or what I am supposed to do.

Everything else is ok here. We went down to Nags Head and the Outer Banks, N.C. for the day, last Saturaday. It was so nice. We had such a nice day. We ate at Jimmy's Seafood restaurant and they are a buffet of seafood, plus they got the dessert table and a kids buffet section and boy, do they have good food. All fresh. And they got 3 different type of crack and eat crabs. Plus all the fried seafood you could ask for. But to find king crab legs and snow crab legs together is a true rariety. It is really good and reasonably priced.  Got to try it if you ever go there.

Well, I got to run but hope everyone is going fine and take care.

Love- Lori

Camel Crickets?????

Posted on Sep. 13, 2006 at 3:23 PM - 2 Comments - Post Comment - Link

Camel crickets are a cross between a cricket and a spider. They can get rather big and they are shaped like a spider but they can both jump and crawl. They are hard to kill too because of their ability to jump. They can climb like a spider but they don't make webs. They are so ugly and really scare me. I found some Raid that is for spiders and it did kill them but it took it awhile to kill them. There was about 50-75 of them on the side of the porch and when I sprayed them, they jumped in all directions. I sprayed almost the whole can. People driving down the road must have thought I was some kind of crazy woman because I would spray them then jump out the way. Even the dog don't like them. He will kill flies, go after bees, even locust but not the camel crickets. He will try and kill it but even he acts scared unlike the other pests out there. Oh, well. He is a big baby but protective of his family. We found that one out when we went down to the river and some drunk guy let his "big" dogs loose to swim and here comes this dog who looks like he is breed with wolf, swimming in the river approaching Heather. Now the guy is yelling at his dog, my dog is going crazy, then the guy is saying his dog is a 75 pd. puppy and Scooter is trying to charge this dog. Scooter loves everyone but felt threatend by this dog swimming to Heather. I was impressed to say the least. Well, gotta go get Heather.

Bye.

Easy tips

Posted on Sep. 13, 2006 at 3:13 PM - 0 Comments - Post Comment - Link

I have a friend that passed on some good tips that I thought I would share with you guys. I honestly don't  know if they work or not so this is a try at your own risk but these are from a church group so I personally feel safe trying them.

• For opening sealed envelopes- put in the freezer for a few hours. Then slide a knife under the flap. The envelope can then be re-sealed.
• Use empty toilet paper rolls to store appliance cords in. It keeps them neat and you can write on the roll what appliance it belongs to.
• For icy door steps in freezing temperatures, get warm water and put Dawn idsh washing liquid in it. Pour it all over the steps. They will not freeze.
• Crayon marks on the walls. This works wonderfully. A damp rag, dipped in baking soda- rub and it comes off easily.
• Permanent markers on appliances/counter tops. Use rubbing alcohol on paper towel.
• Whenever purchasing a box of SOS pads. Take a pair of scissors and cut each pad into halves. This is much more economical. A box of pads last indefinitely. Also, the scissors get a sharpening this way.

I hope these help you out. I am going to definately try the dawn with water to keep the steps from freezing this winter. I hear that Virginia is in for a rough winter or at least that is what the Farmers Altamac says and we have been lucky for a few years now so we are due for a bad winter.

I am still struggling with the depression but I am not taking the Amitriptiline( don't know if that is spelled right or not) so hopefully things will change. I am noticing a small difference but then again, I just started about 2 weeks ago this Thursday.

Sam is wanting her driving permit but we think it would be best to wait a while longer. She wants to get it the same day that she turns 15 and 6 months. Ed wants to make sure that she keeps her grades up so that we can get the discount for teenage drivers through State Farm. So the compromise will be that she has to wait until her birthday comes along in March and if her grades are still up and she is acting and showing us that she is responsible in both in school with her grades and keeping her room half way decent then I will take her out on her birthdate if that is what she wants. I haven't told Sam the plan but hopefully she is able to understand. That would be showing maturity right there, just to understand and not go off the deep end.

The physical therapist sent me back to the Neurosurgeon today. What a waste that was. The physical therapy was suppose to fax over information that the neurosurgeon never got and then he simply said that it would not have mattered anyways because He is a surgeon. That is all he does and He feels (thank God) that I don't need a surgery. Physical therapy should have sent me back to my primary care physician not the neurosurgeon. Great! It just irritates me the things I am having to go through since the accident. I am loosing strength in my whole right side. In my grip, my range of motion, my ability to tie my shoes has not returned. I am stretching and going to physical therapy as much as I can with the migraines and I am not getting better to where I can be comfortable even in sleep. I was told to buy a new "Contour" pillow to see if it helps. I was supposed to buy the whole sleep system. The kind where it contours to your body. The whole set is around $3,000 and I just can't afford that. And I don't see Geico offering to cover that one but then again, I would not ask such a question. I got the pillow and I will see if that helps and if it does I see where Target has the 2" contour mattress topper and I hear that they help with back pain. That is around $150 which would put a dent in the grocery money for a month but better than the full sleep system. We shall see. We shall see. And I am not entirely Naive, Geico will get the receipts for the heating pad, ice wrap and pillow and every other dollar we had to spend because of one drivers impatience. It is still hard to swallow the fact that I got hit from behind because this man and his wife wanted to go shopping at the mall and got impatient and thought they could whip around a full line of traffic in a two lane road. But then again, it would not have made me feel better if I got hit from someone just not paying attention. It just sucks being in pain. Housework hurts, sex hurts, tying my shoes is nearly impossible. Everything has suffered. I watched my family leave to go on a planned vaccation. It hurt for me not to go and be with them but I wanted them to go and have fun. It is not their fault any of this happend, why should they suffer too.

Well, It is not my intention to rant and rave about my troubles. I hope all of you are doing good. I am going to go. It is almost time for Heather to get off the bus and I always stand at the door and watch her. I hear too many horror stories of the risks of kids getting snatched right in front of the childs home so I am always watching. I can't be too careful when It comes time to my childrens safety. Even the oldest gets watched although she has a little more distance to walk. Heather is lucky or shall I say, I am lucky because her bus stop is right across the street from the house. Anyways, I am off and hope you all have a good day.

Love

Lori

Things You Don't Know About Me

Posted on Aug. 26, 2006 at 6:37 PM - 2 Comments - Post Comment - Link

• My favorite color is purple
• My daddy was the son of a preacher
• I lived in Pa., Md. and Va.
• I am terrified of camel crickets!
• I love nature
• One thing that turns me off romantically, Bad Breath. It will kill the mood.
• I have a fear of falling and I used to be deathly scared of roller coasters. I cured myself of roller coasters and last year I rode the Drop Zone at Kings Dominion, Va. But the first time I boarded it, they had to let me off. But I forced myself to do it a second time and made it all the way through, shaken but alive.
• I went to Orlando Flordia and visited Disney World, Universal Studios and Sea World for my honeymoon.
• I always wanted to sky dive and bungee jump but had no one that would do it with me and I was too scared to do it myself and now I am too heavy.
• I wanted to become a vetinarian then a forensic scientist.
• I like to write songs, poems and would very much like to write a book.
• If I had one wish, it would to win the publishers clearing house! yeah!!!
• I am an animal lover by far. If I was not married to Ed, I would have a lot more animals than just my kitty cat and my dog
• My parents moved so much during my childhood, that just in my teen years, I attended 5 different high schools and have at least one good friend that I still stay in contact with from each school even if it is just once a year.
• My biggest crush was with Robby Swartz. Boy, did he break my heart.
• My first love, my first husband Chris.
• If I could change anything about my past it would be my grades. I wish I would have done better in school.
• I loved to play with the big boys. Touch football, basketball.You name it, I loved it. I was a tomboy and still am to a point.
• I am a sucker for romance.
• My sensitive spot is my neck but the very back of my neck and I get turned off by slobbering. yuck!

I thought it would be fun to leave this page like this instead of rambling on, being all frustrated and end up on edge so I hope you enjoyed it. All is fine here. School starts soon so lots to do. Hope you all have a good night. Take care.

Love, Lori

Got an FYI

Posted on Aug. 20, 2006 at 4:08 PM - 3 Comments - Post Comment - Link

I was so sorry and disappointed to hear that the information that was passed on to me pertaining to the "planet Saturn" was an hoax. We never seen anything on our news station. This is sad news. We were really looking forward to it. I will pass on the information to my friends and family and appreciate the FYI. Don't people have anything else better to do than to put fake crap on the internet. But worse yet is the ones who purposely put "viruses" on the internet hoping to do injury to others home computers, universities computers and businesses both big and small who loose money as an result. They are the shameful ones. Shame. Shame.

Everything here is ok, I guess. I am having a hard time dealing with emotions. I really should have stayed on the anti-depressant but too late now. I won't restart that. Everyone I seem to talk to says the same thing, that I should not have to take a pill everyday to feel normal. I think I just stay upset and I get upset so easily. I cry over stupid commercials. That is bad.

School starts in like 2 weeks so we need to finish up the school shopping this week so it will be busy. I will be glad when school starts again and Ed works the day shift so that at least I can have the mornings to myself for at least a week. One week a month I can look forward to that. I love my girls with all my heart but I just need a break. I can't take a break without someone needing, wanting me. I can't take a bathroom break without someone knocking on the door. I am so exhausted. And if I gain one more pound, I am going to scream. I have gained like 20 pounds since the accident and I keep on trying to diet but then end up eating like the pig I am. I am even trying to drink protein shakes. I am just a big eater and need to downsize my portions. And I need to add more physical activities to my inactive life. The physical therapist said that I am not progressing the way he had hoped and has given me another week to "see how I am" and if I am not any better then he wants me to go and see the "surgeon" for backs again. I forgot what they are called. I can't keep my thoughts straight. He thinks I need to be seen again. Only thing I know for sure is that life got a whole lot worse since that accident. you would have thought I had been in a near fatal accident but that was and is not the case but I am hurting on a daily basis none the same. I know the weight is not helping and I am having a hard time getting a handle on things. Even Ed has seemed to back off. He still says that he loves me but things are hard on him too. I still say he is either depressed or having a mild mid-life crises. I wish he would get help. Dr. Phil, were are you when I need you? I could never do that. Appear on a TV show, viewed by millions and air all my dirty laundry. I would not want the world to know my business. But I think Dr. Phil comes up with some good advice and he seems to tell it like it is whether you want to hear it or not. I like that. I would rather get honest advice than just someone telling me what they think I want to hear. I am more about honesty than anything else. Although, I have told a few women that they looked good when they did not but I am also about not wanting to hurt anyones feelings. I am honest when I am asked to be on stuff like that but if I think they will be hurt then I will alter the truth. I guess honesty is the best policy in all cases but I just don't want to hurt anyone. I hurt enough all by myself and hate to see others hurt.

Well, I am going to go and jump in the shower before it is time to start cooking dinner. Tonight is boiled cabbage (yuck) and mashed potatoes (the real ones) and spinach. It is heatlthy but I am not looking forward to it. At all. ERRRRGGGGG!!!! If only you could see the face I am making. I better stop before I gross myself out and don't want to eat my healthy dinner. Oh, well.

Everyone take care and chat with you soon.

Love,

Lori

Back Home

Posted on Aug. 16, 2006 at 1:47 PM - 0 Comments - Post Comment - Link

Hi.

We Got back Monday around 4:30 pm from my parents house. It went pretty good. It was the best visit I have ever had. It was relaxed most of the time and other than the girls getting a little bored the last day, it was good. I had such a good time with my mom especially. We went to the flee market and I got a huge bamboo plant. It is in a red, apple planter which will go good in my kitchen. It is supposed to bring Peace and harmony into the house. We need that. I also got some good paring knives. I bought one of the same kind from an oriental man at the same flee market but somehow it disappeared. No one knew what happend to it so when I seen the same guy selling the same knives, I jumped on it and bought a set of them. They are silver handled and have thin blades and they cut so nicely. I don't have a good set of kitchen knives so this is such a blessing to me.

Of course, Ed was upset that I spent any money at all. Now, he gives me money to go but "just thought" I would not spend any other than for us to eat on the 8 hour trip down to S. Carolina. He is a disappointment and I have told him so. Our first night back, I asked him, "Did you miss me" and I did not get the response I so desperately wanted. I got, "well, yeah I missed you but......I did not miss this or that or this etc." Lets see. He does not miss seeing a dish (a single dish i mind you) in the sink ( I do dishes daily) or he does not miss the kids rooms messy ( I do fall short in that dept. because I view it as... I will push them to do it but I am not a profectionist so I will not ground them for petty issures such as a pair of shoes on the floor). That is his gripe.

Last night was worst. I was laying on the couch. I did not feel well so I am unshowered, no make-up, in a nightgown (it is 9 pm) and Heather decides to take a picture of me on the cell phone. I am reading a magazine, not really paying attention until Ed starts to laugh at me. He actually laughed and told me to look at the picture and said, "I could not tell if it was a man or a woman". He shattered me. When the tears started up, I threw the magazine at him, got a cigarette (yeah, I am cheating but I cant help it) ran outside to smoke, came back in and told him that he was an asshole. He was still laughing, saying that it was just a joke. I went to bed. Then he had Heather in here saying it was just a joke. I told her, I just wanted to go to bed. He said that I am being too sensitive. That it was just a joke. Well his "joke" cost me a whole nights sleep and I have been in the bathroom half of the night and day. You would think I would be skinny. I would not talk to him at all this morning. I told him that he cut me to the core and that I would not talk to him until I got an apology which I got but I am still hurt.

Am I over-reacting here? Would you have gotten hurt or mad. When I get hurt, I shut down. Sometimes in tears, other times in anger so that the pain is not as great. It was a bad time to get off the anti-depressant. I should have never let him talk me into that. Beings that it did not help with the migraines but did interfere with "climax", he wanted me off of it. Sex before dishonor. So now I really am frustrated because I don't want to be with him in that way when he treats me bad. I don't want him to touch me. How can I get turned on when he treats me like a "door mat". Wipe your shitty shoes when you need to but always have it there just in case if you need it. That don't make any sense but any of you that have been where I am knows exactly where I am coming from. And the kicker of it is......yeah, I still have feelings for him. I would honestly take care of him if he got sick, I have respect for him working a job he hates to support his family, I got respect for his ability to save up and pay bills, I got loyalty for him just for his loyalty to me, as far as I know, he has never cheated on me. He was not a bad guy when we met. I was young, getting out of an abusive relationship with a newborn, hating living at home with my parents (everytime the baby would cry, my dad, would go into his room, slam the door and yell for me to "shut her up" and I hated it with a passion. She was colicky". So here I am already messed up and confussed and young and here comes Ed. He was so not my type. He hung out with the bikers. He was rough but never with me. I should have looked at him and ran but a girl that I worked with at the time, kind of sold him on me. She made him sound so good. So I agreed to have dinner at her house with her, her husband and Ed. That way if I did not like him, I could run. But he was so nice. A true gentleman. He was much older than me but I was intrigued by him. He wined and dined me. What ever I wanted he bought but that too came back to bite me. He used to buy me flowers all the time. I mean the huge ones that cost like $80.00 with the vase and all. He got laid off from his job when we were dating and I told him, not to buy me anymore flowers becasue of it. I did not want him to spend any money on me when he had no job. I did not know he had money stashed away so that he did not hurt for cash . He would not listen to me so I said that they die anyways and that was the last time I got flowers other thatn 5 or 6 yrs. back, he got me a doz. for our anniversary. But now, he says he stopped years ago because I said they die. I have explained that story to him time and time again but he won't listen. He used to open doors for me, open the car doors, listen to the radio in the vechiles (now it is just noise to him) and he used to touch me like he loved me. Now, for him to do that, it only means he wants sex. That is all.He says I changed too. I have. I got migraines, I got fat and I don't smile anymore unless it is just me and the girls. Anytime I start to have fun with the girls and I smile and laugh, he says, "we are being silly". So I don't around him. I can't even play a game with them without him saying something. I did not want to be around him today. He took the girls to kings dominion as their last few  weeks of summer end. School starts the day after Labor Day.

I am getting ready to start yet another diet. I am reading "Flip the Switch" and I am hoping to flip my switch to weight loss. So far it is good reading and does not sound too off the wall but quite the opposite. It sounds reasonable and easy enough but I am not even half way through reading the book yet so we shall see.

Heather said something that was funny. The other day, while on the road, some guys in a truck did a double take upon seeing the car. I was trying to figure out what they were looking at when the girls said me. I could not believe them to we got beside them and then there was no mistaking it. I got red in the face and had a grin from ear to ear but Heather said that if daddy would have seen that, then he would of been jealous. I disagreed but then Sammy said that if I lost weight, he would be forced to treat me the way he used to because then he would feel like he had competition. It made me think. I don't know if she is right or not but he did treat me a whole lot better when I had more guys looking at me. And I have gotten fat. My fat has fat and it makes me not like myself. I hate pictures and I hate mirrors and I detest scales. I need to get this weight off of me. I need to get out of the depression and counting on food as my friend. We shall see.We shall see. I might just be the one laughing in the end and I will make him eat his words, "I couldn't tell if it were a man or a woman" Screw that. He will eat them words.

Oh, well, gotta go. Sorry for rambling and rambling on and on but sometimes a womans got to do what a womans got to do.

Hope you all have a good week.

Love

Lori

Veiwing Mars

Posted on Aug. 16, 2006 at 12:47 PM - 1 Comments - Post Comment - Link

I thought I would pass this information on to you all. I got it from my former mother-n-law whom I am still friends with. I tried to up load the files of Mars but this is the best I can do. I am not good at computer issues. But this sounds interesting enough and so we are going to see if we can see it. I hope you like it. 

Mark Your Calendar for Aug 27, 2006

We Will Never See This Again in Our Lifetime MARK YOUR CALENDARS FOR THIS DATE: AUGUST 27TH                   ...nor  will the people of the next 50-to-1,000 Lifetimes! Mars The  Red Planet is about to be spectacular!    This  month and next, Earth is catching up with Mars in an   encounter that will culminate in the closest  approach  between the two planets in recorded  history. The next  time Mars may come this close is in 2287. Due to the way  Jupiter's gravity tugs on Mars and perturbs its orbit,  astronomers can only be certain that Mars has not come this  close to Earth in the Last 5,000 years, but it may be as long  as 60,000 years before it happens again. The encounter  will culminate on August 27th when Mars comes to within  34,649,589 miles of Earth and will be (next to the moon) the  brightest object in the night sky. It will attain a magnitude  of -2.9 and will appear 25.11 arc seconds wide. At a  modest 75-power magnification...   Mars  will look as large as the full moon to the naked  eye.  Mars  will be easy to spot. At the beginning of August it will rise  in the east at 10p.m.  and  reach its azimuth at about 3 a.m.  By the end of August when the two planets are closest,  Mars will rise at nightfall and reach its highest point in the  sky at 12:30a.m.  That's pretty convenient to see something that no human being  has seen in recorded history. So, mark your calendar at the  beginning of August to see Mars grow progressively brighter  and brighter throughout the month. Share  this with your children and  grandchildren.    NO  ONE ALIVE TODAY WILL EVER SEE THIS AGAIN

Trying to relax

Posted on Aug. 4, 2006 at 10:11 PM - 1 Comments - Post Comment - Link

Yeah, I am trying to relax. I got sick half of yesterday and most of today but I am doing much better now. But I have a killer buzz. I finally have a night to myself! The puking stage of the migraine is over. I have not eaten hardly anything since lunce but then again lunch did not go over good. But oh well, I have time to myself, time to think, time to reflect........ enough said.

I so look forward to going back home to see my parents. No matter how bad, or messed up my childhood was, I miss my mom.

I like that Bon Jovi song, ; "Who says you can't go home".

But I have liked that group since my teenager years but that one song has become my favorite. I like to play it when Ed is near. Not that it matters any. He has become ungrateful, nasty, cruel even. But yet, he says " I love you." Go figure.

I have always wanted someone to love me. I grew up thinking, as a young child , I won't even say it. But those of you that have been screwed know what I was about to say........... Yeah, I know.

I gotta go watch some tv or something. My mind is going to start to play overtime and I want to enjoy what I got going on, not get sad and crying thinking I am going to be miserable the rest of my life.

Got a question, How can you love someone so much that you would actually be willing to surrender your own life to save theirs but yet you question if they love you?

But yet he says he loves me. And if anything were to happen, for  me to take the kids and run and leave him..... if not...... I would be risking his life. Just leave.

I am so tired of feeling so alone. How can I love someone so much but be so hurt by them again and again.

I am sorry. I am going to go.

I was supposed to go with them tonight but I got the headache yesterday so at least I have tonight by myself. I expect them back tomorrow. They said , no it would be Sunday morning but I know better. He likes to come home early to see if I am still alone. He would love to catch me cheating but that has never happened. I wish I could say......  got to go. I am buzzed, my mind is racing and I got an attitude from a      guy who says that he loves me but never shows me.....enough said.

Sorry to rant and rave and sorry for venting but I had to .....just to keep my sanity.

Love, Lori

Got one more for you

Posted on Jul. 31, 2006 at 8:27 PM - 0 Comments - Post Comment - Link

I got one more freebie but it will soon turn in to many freebies but you got to look at the sight to full appreciate what I just said. I am so pleased with this one so I hope it works and as always, remember, you need a new windows box, copy, paste and refresh or enter then refresh. Anyways, here you go.

http://www.condenastdirect.com/allure/sampling_minisite/index.cfm

Have a good night.

Love, Lori

I am wrong. This is not a freebie site but a sweestakes site. I am doing it now but they are for some really good ones or so I think. Like  so many people will receive a free bottle of Paul Mitchell Serum or a free bottle of shampoo. Sorry about the mix up.

I am wrong one more time. So sorry. It is both a sweepstakes site and they have some freebies. I think I am having a mental breakdown. I don't seem to know what the heck I am doing but it is a safe site. It is an Allure site but you don't have to read or subscribe to the magazine to enter the sweepstakes or get any of the freebies. Sorry again for getting it wrong but hey, I try.

Take Care

Yeah, I'm liking the freebie thing

Posted on Jul. 31, 2006 at 7:53 PM - 0 Comments - Post Comment - Link

Ok. I found a few more freebies but they are of a different kind and I have not tried them myself yet but I most definately will as soon as I get a little more free time. So here they are:

For a free pair of Hanes Her Way Panty:

Call :   1-800-528-8484

HAN7374C     is the promotional code.

For a .25 oz. bottle of Tend Skin that was seen in Fitness and Allure magazines.

Call:   1-800-940-8423

For a free sample of Wind Tangle Prevention and a $3.00 coupon

Send a self-addressed stamped envelope to:

In The Wind, Inc.

SAMPLE REQUEST

342 Green Hollow Rd.

Danielson, CT. 06239

That is all I got for today but hope you get your freebies. They really do make me feel good everytime I get one in the mail and sometimes I get full bottles of stuff or handful of freebies which I love.

Well, I don't have time to chat but just know everything here is about the same. Sam is in basketball day camp again all this week. Heather and I are going school clothes shopping tomorrow after we drop of Sam. Physical therapy for the back was today and I am feeling some better from new techniques that they are doing. Oh, we went swimming yesterday, the girls and I and a friend from church and we had a really good time. The most fun I have had in months or longer.

Oh, I am going to go down to spend a few days with my parents. They are in South Carolina and it will be just the girls and I and we are all looking forward to it. I cried last night after I talked to my mom last night. I need a break, if you  know what I mean.

Well, everything is pretty much the same  but I have not lost hope, yet anyways.

Hope you all have a good week and I will chat with you all soon.

Love---Lori

The Mother Load Of Freebies

Posted on Jul. 28, 2006 at 10:49 PM - 0 Comments - Post Comment - Link

http://www.1aboutfreestuff.com/samples.htm

This has a lot of freebies. And I do mean a lot. Most are free but some have the step 2 thing which I always click off and go for another "true" freebie, meaning that I only have to give my name, address, # and sometimes B-day but that is all I ever get. I think my mail lady is getting mad at me. Oh well. Have fun.

Lori

New Freebies

Posted on Jul. 28, 2006 at 3:12 PM - 0 Comments - Post Comment - Link

http://www.usafill.com/aveda/  This is for a free sample of Aveno lotion

http://www.olay.com/samplesandoffers/ This is for the new wrinkle/age spot diminisher from Olay. I hear it is good.

As always, you got to copy the address, open a new window, then hit the paste button and hit refresh. I tried it from my computer just to make sure that it works so I hope you have no problems.

Everything is pretty much the same here. I have decided to get off the anti-depressant medicine. So far, I am ok. A little rocky, emotionally but otherwise, ok. Things have been pretty busy here. Sam with the basketball camp everyday and if not that then going over her "best friends houses" which she has had from the good old girlscout or brownie days. They are a good group although all of them have outgrown the girl scouts. There are four of them which have remained friends all these years. From elementary to High school. It is good to have friends.

I have a few friends I still have from childhood. Mainly, Lori (yeah, we were known as little Lori and big Lori) our names are even spelled the same way, but I have know her since 7th grade. I have pictures of how goofy we looked. She means a lot to me and we used to do everything together. But we live about 40 minutes to an hour (depending on traffic) away and she has her family and I have mine and although we try and talk almost every week, she needs me to listen to her (right now) and so I try and not to burden her with my "drama". She is with a new guy and he seems to be really good. No drugs, alcohol and he just quit smoking. He is kind of shy and really seems to have a huge importance to have a family style life. I really hope it works out for her. She just lost her job so they are living together with kids from previous relationships (mainly his) but this is the first guy to ever take care of her. She had users, crack heads, theifs, beaters and cheaters before so this guy is a breath of fresh air. And it is so sad because she is such a good person with good values and she does not cheat on her men either and she is petite and very attractive. She deserves a good guy. I am so happy for her and I am praying for this to be "her happily ever after". She does deserve that. Finally, hopefully, she has picked a winner instead of a loser.

Well, I got to take Sam over to her best friends house. Like I said, they all stayed close and so tonight they are spending the night over one of the girls houses. Thank God she has a big home and not a crackle barrel house like mine cause she will have all four girls spending the night at her house. I feel bad for her. But the girls will have a blast, no doubt. So I am off doing that and I got some house cleaning to do. My sister and her youngest son is coming over tomorrow and I want the house spic and span. She is a clean freak. Well, got company so gotta go.

Lori

Another razor

Posted on Jul. 25, 2006 at 4:30 PM - 0 Comments - Post Comment - Link

Here is another razor freebie. See, I told you I have not paid for a razor for awhile now but when I do, I will only buy from the companies to sent me the free ones unless they really suck or are dull and that has not been the case for what I have been receiving in the mail.

Hope you don't have any problems getting this. It was easy on my end.

Have a good day.

http://www.schickintuition.com/freeoffer/

Here is the promotional code that you need.

INTSMP06

sweepstakes

Posted on Jul. 25, 2006 at 3:43 PM - 0 Comments - Post Comment - Link

This is one of my favorite web addresses to go and enter sweepstakes and get some freebies as well. Try it out.

http://www.myfree.com

Everything else here is the same. Ed is working 12 hour days so he is the typical jerk. I started my period so I feel real great so I'm lashing right on back at him. This is one of the reasons I have so many problems with my head.I did not have headaches when I was pregnant with Heather. No, not until I started taking different types of birth contro. Then, my OBGYN told me that if I got my tubes tied, the migraines might go away. Well, Ed made it clear he did not want anymore kids so I thought I had nothing to loose. Wrong. Now resent studies point to the fact that tubal lygation (tying of the tubes) changes your hormonal balance and can and do play a key roll in migraines. But now I can't have the procedure undone. Or I could but insurance wont cover the surgery for one and I don't want to have anymore kids or at least with Ed. But I am with him so that closes that whole topic. He is a miserable old man. If anything were to ever happen to him, I would be so sad, hurt and I might even feel all alone (but I do anyways...even with him alive and well) I would love to have a little boy. I got the two girls and they mean so much to me but I would have liked to have one more, a son. But that was not writen in the cards dealt to me. Oh, well. That is life and I can not change any of it. I will try and make the best of it. I try and keep any argue or bickering down because of the girls. they seem to have the ability to brush Ed off and let things roll of their backs which is good but I am not that good to do so.

Well, I am off. Hope you all have a good day.

Love....Lori

freebies to check out

Posted on Jul. 24, 2006 at 3:50 PM - 2 Comments - Post Comment - Link

I found some good freebies. I don't know if they are valid not. I love getting freebies and get them often. I love opening up stuff, especially when it is free. This first freebie is for another razor. Like I said before, I have not had to purchace a razor in months. If you cant get the page to load up then try opening a new window and cut and paste. Hopefully that will work but if not, please don't get mad and frustrated at me. I am only trying to share what good fortune as far as freebies go to you, my friends.

http://www.schickshavelab.com This is for the free razor

http://hipcolor.com/hip.html This is for either a free foundation that they send you or a coupon for a free "full" sample. Not sure.

Thats it for now but again, I hope both work and enjoy the freebies.

Love,      

Lori

Male Depression

Posted on Jul. 24, 2006 at 1:57 PM - 0 Comments - Post Comment - Link

Hi Everyone,

I appreciate you, my friends. I thank you for your input and for thinking enough about my me and my thoughts to add the comments on the blog page and some of you even offered your e-mails. I so do appreciate it. I does feel good to know I am not alone out there. I honestly do feel, Ed has depression. He hates his job so much, his life so much that when he is feeling down or angry, he takes it out emotionally  on me. That does not excuse the way he treats me. At all. He knows it as well as I that if I did not have the chronic migraines to where I could hold a job, I would have left him a long time ago. Bad enough my back being hurt from the car accident but the migraines, they are something else. I get them bad about or at least 2 days a week. I have tried everything made known to man or at least doctors, phycologists, phychiatrists, TMJ doctors, accupunturists, a western medicine woman who did some weird crap, rhuematologist (I know I am spelling some of this wrong) to a neurologist who I am with now. I tried an orthodonist and every form of mouth guards out there. Every diet, I have tried. I even quit smoking although I am glad I did that one. I am not a reliable source to hire and I can't expect any employer to hire me when I will be out at least 2 days of the week and I can not predict when those days will be. I think that makes Ed think that there will be nothing I could ever do, especially with the 2 kids so maybe (hopefully) involentarily (hate to think it was on purpose) he feels he can treat me anyway he want with no pentalties. I keep on telling him that I don't want a love/hate relationship. I have told him how much it hurts going from an unhappy childhood to an unhappy marriage. He has been having pains up in his side and I still have compassion for him to look and see if I see anything bulging like a hernia disc. Me, I just started my period, my back hurts so here I am with ice on it and I am getting the beginning of a migraine and I get...picked at....like a 12 yr. old boy who is sitting on a bus pulling the little girls ponytail. He is great in every other department. His social skills suck. He is a bad listener. He has no compassion. He is like the "man's man". Don't complain about your ailments until you are at deaths door. He will tell you he cares but he is a hard ass the whole time. If I need money....here you go, Lori, just don't waste it. you are too sick to do laundry.... thats ok, Lori, I will do a load before I go to work and then a load again tomorrow before I go. Oh, you and the kids want to go see a movie....ok. here you go. Here is the money and here is alittle extra so that you all can go out to eat to. Have fun.....That is Ed. He is the biggest asshole out there but yet, he has your back in everyway that you could possibly need him to be. But turn the switch and you get the nasty, ticking time bomb, make fun of you when you are down, Ed. All of this is Ed. I think he needs professional help but he won't listen to me. oh, well, enough of that for today.

Everything else is doing ok. The physical therapy is doing better. I feel good the next day but after a few days my back is back in pain. I am doing stretching which is suppose to help. We shall see.

Sam has done 2 weeks straight for the fundamentals of basketball. I went to sign her up today and pay for the 3rd week but they were full and would not add her for the week. She is bummed out. She eats, sleeps and breathes for basketball. It is her dream to go to collage on a scholorship. To become a member or the WNBA. I am trying to be supportive of her and do what I can to help. I have her signed up again or we will by tomorrow for her reserved place for next week. That will be the very last week that the county is offering the basketball at $35.00 per week. I am proud of her.

Heather is like me. We both lost our will for eating healthy and diet week. She is on her period too so that says it all. I hate getting so hungry before my period. But right now, that is at the bottom of my list.

We got to start school shopping here soon. I don't like it when the malls and all get packed. I get frustrated and snappy. I want the girls to remember a mom who had it together and had fun when school shopping. I dreaded it as a kid growing up. I want my kids to remember it as a good time together. Good memories, if any.

Ok. I got some good tips to share so listen up and I do hope that they are helpful ones. Here goes. Oh, and if they don't work, please remember, I am not a professional, only a friend with some tips that might or might not work. Ok?

A tip to easily remove burnt items of food from a skillet is to add a drop or two of dish soap and add enough water to cover the bottom of the pan and bring to a boil on the stove. My motto is if you cooked it on then you can cook it off.

Another tip is to spray your tupperware with non-stick cooking spray before pouring in tomato based sauces and there will keep it from staying. I heard that the same thing can be done for dog and cat dishes to keep the wet food from drying and sticking.

I have not tried it myself yet but Allure magazine is having a lot to offer on 7/26 or 7/28. A lot of freebies and sweepstakes to enter but again, I have not done it myself yet.

I did get my free shower caddy. I had to go to customer service to get it but as promised it was free.

I like going to freebiesGalaxy.com for a lot of freebies.

Well, I am going to get off but hope you all have a good day and I will chat with you all later.

Love- Lori

Free Venus Vibrance Shower Caddy

Posted on Jul. 12, 2006 at 7:30 PM - 2 Comments - Post Comment - Link

Hi Everyone,

Hey, I seen a offer for a free Venus Vibrance Shower Caddy. It is a automated call and I have not had to opportunity to try it out myself so I'm not sure if it is good or not but here is the information and you can try for yourself.

Call:1-800-445-5388 ex. 1

I hope it works.

Not much else has changed on my end. Ed is still Ed and still driving me crazy. He does more than drive me crazy, he is hurtful with his words. I cried for over an hour last night and almost again this morning. He is on graveyard shift and he is a plain asshole on this shift. He tries his best to put me down and make me not only to feel unloved, unwanted, unappreciated but a failure in everything I do. It hurts me worse, like today, instead of an "I'm sorry", I get I do love you which is nice and did make me feel better on that end but then he makes the comment that, "I seem to make you cry a lot these days". If he knows that then why not and try not to make me cry and stop trampling all over my feelings. I have lived most of my life always wondering if I was loved. A bad childhood did not help. A failed first marriage where there was violence did not help. And let me clarity that one. My ex was young when we married. Very immature as was I. He never beat me or abused me. But he had me scared to death of him. I slept with weapons under my mattress in the end. I would not even sleep with him in the same bed.He would say "stupid" threatning things to me. Try to kick down bedroom doors to "make me" talk to him during fights. Tackle me on the bed in a fit of rage when I was 7 almost 8 months pregnant. Just stupid things but I did not want anyone to think that he abuse me physically because that would be untrue and unfair to him. Besides, he has changed so much since then. He has become a good father and good husband to his current wife. But like I was saying, I have lived my life always wondering if I was loved or even wanted. I am 35 now and I don't want to keep on feeling that way. If I die tomorrow, I die with those haunting questions. If I could get him to see how he treats me then maybe he would change. I even threw my rings at him this time. He said I would never leave him because I have it good, too good, that I would never leave the Honey Pot. That hurt. So I took off my rings (after I put some lotion to get them off from where my fingers are so swollen) then slammed them down on the end table beside him and said that he could take his honey pot and the rings and shove them both up his ass. I know I am wrong. I should not do that and I don't on a regual basis. Really, I have not taken my rings off in years and years. But he pushed me too far. And I snapped. I was so ugly today to everyone. Even Wal-mart felt my wrath. When mamas unhappy, everyone is unhappy or so they say. I snapped on both the girls for being smart asses but they are like that everyday and I usually don't snap to where I yell so I had to apologize to them. I won't apologize to Ed. I won't be a doormat for him or anyone else. He can go wipe his feet elsewhere. But as I told him....I am hard to replace and he knows it. I am not perfect. I have my flaws but I am a good wife. He has a clean home, well taken care of kids in all areas whether it is socially, mentally or for shcool. I scratch his back, his hips, his arms, his legs, his head, even hand when he is driving. He says my nails feel better than his. No problem. I brush his hair. I give him sex at the snap of a finger and I try to make it interesting so it never gets boring although I have my limits as to what I am willing to do. Some things either hurt or I just don't like it..period. I can be sick with a migraine and if he wants it then ok. I make him plates of food when he works the off shifts so that he always eats good. Anything he asks me to do, I jump to do it. I don't cheat. I don't go anywhere. I am a wal-mart buyer. I don't buy expensive clothes, jewels, make-up.. nothing. Let me see him replace me. And what is funny is that I have so much respect for him cause he don't cheat, he does not buy expensive things for himself, he works at a job that he detest to provide for his family. He is a loyal guy. He just treats me like crap especially on graveyard. It is funny. If I say I want crab legs to eat, he will drive us 5-6 hours away to a beach that has all you can eat crab legs but he talks to me like he could care less if I walked out the door today and never came back. He would have the locks changed. I really do think he would fight for my safety but he talks down to me like I am nothing. Like I mean nothing to him. Like he has no feeling left for me. I am so miserable at times. I see other couples who are so happy looking. Sure, I know they have problems somewhere because there is nothing perfect in life but they are happy. I am not. I can't be because my husband is not happy. He has admitted he is depressed but refuses to seek help. Me, I am taking cymbalta because things were getting so bleak feeling that I was scareing myself with thoughts. He does not care. He is mad at the world. He hates everyone. Wants his daddy to die so he does not want to deal with him getting old. I love his daddy. He is a good man but like his son, they have problems, mental problems. They are hateful at times. They see colors like no one else. I would save a life because to me a life is a life. They would not. If I had known how predjudice they were, I would have ran the other way. I do not believe in inter-mixing. I believe in preserving all races. And I think each group ought to be proud of his or her own race and heritage. I love my own race so I am trying to preserve it but staying with my own but I would give my life to save another, no matter what color. I would offer my help, love, anything anyone wanted out of me because it is the right way to be. Not everyone agrees with me but that is ok. We all have our own beliefs and we all have to make our own way in life. I hate all the hate around me. It sucks. I wish things were different but they are not. I can only try and keep my head above water. The migraines do not help and my back is so bad, I am almost limping to walk. I have lost my will, my way, my desire. I don't want to loose anything else. I don't want to sink any fruther down than I have. Oh, well. Things will look better tomorrow. I hope so anyways. The girls want me to play monopoly with them and I promised so I got to go. Hope everyone has a good night and sorry for putting my frustrations on to the page. I needed a friend to listen to me and you are my friend. My only friend I confie in these days.Bye.