In My Opinion...

When will it be "Spring"?

Well, it is cold and miserable here in Illinois today.  On Monday I was looking out the window to my backyard and just praying for spring - spring represents "new" - and I am ready for "new" in my life.  This has been a very difficult time in my life and I want to "spring" into the next phase - I think with this storm that hit last night God must be telling me I still have some things to deal with before moving on to my "spring". 

We are so often like that - we are dealing with things that make us sad or uncomfortable and we just want to get out of that situation ASAP.  I still feel this way even knowing that in all the "bad" things that have happened in my life (or so I thought at the time) a huge lesson or blessing was on it's way - in HIS timing - not mine. 

I know that the weather isn't going to change my situation - but when I begin seeing the first signs of spring - it just makes me spirits lift and my smile bigger.    Everything looks so dark and gloomy in the winter - the trees appear dead and it just looks so dirty.  The exception to this is immediately after a snow when everything is still untouched by snowplows - but that is such a brief time that the memory is quickly erased as the world wakes up and deals with the snow or ice.  That's the same way I feel about what I am dealing with - let's hurry up and deal with it - erase it from my spirit.

I long to see the trees budding and the flowers starting to bloom.  I can't wait to see the robins return and the grass start to perk up.  I look forward to seeing all the children on our street coming out from their homes and reconnecting with all their friends to enjoy the sun.  But for me - most of all - I long to have a "normal" day - where sad thoughts don't enter my mind like a poison.  While I know I will never forget this situation in my life - I want it to stop controlling how my day goes.  Some days I feel spring is around the corner - other days - it feels that I am still back at the beginning of winter.  I am a strong woman - always have been - but this has been very, very difficult and while I do feel stronger most days - today it feels like I am back at the beginning of winter.   Spring - I know it's just around this next corner...

Live, Laugh, & Love,

MustangMama

Untitled Comment

12:58 PM, Feb. 13, 2007 .. Posted by davey327

I read your previous blog and your profile to get a better idea of what you're dealing with. The moving all the time seems to be the main thing, and that would be difficult. I move alot between the ages of 18 and 22, when I got married. We have been married for almost 25 yrs. and have lived in our present home for almost 24. I always said I was never moving again. What does your husband do for a living? Military? I can empathize with your friend problem. I live in a small town where most everybody has known each other forever. My husband was raised nearby but has never been outgoing. I am not from here, so while they are friendly they have never gone out of their way to be friend. I have always felt like an outsider looking in, and the few friendships I have made, with other outsiders for the most part have not gone well, usually because they move away and as you said, lose touch. Friendship's not as easy thing but you have to keep trying to connect. I hope you get to stay put for a while and I hope someone comes into your life to be your friend.