From the Lioness' Den...

Morning Observations and Elder Relation

Saturday morning Shelby & I had some time to kill before going to Omaha to meet a friend of mine that I haven't seen in 3 years. We stopped in at my sister's apartment in Lincoln just to visit since Shelby hadn't seen her in a while and was suffering from "Aunt Stephie withdrawal".  About an hour into the visit, they were both sitting on the couch fighting over the blanket Shelby had made Steph for Christmas. Steph says, "Why don't you go find something to do?" Shelby says, "No, I'm fine doing what I'm doing." Steph says "What's that?" Shelby says, "Just sittin' here on the couch watchin' you get older!"  I, of course, busted a gut laughing because Steph's jaw was practically on the floor. "I just didn't think that she'd already be able to have such smart-ass comebacks." I asked, "Well, what do you expect? Look at the gene pool she comes from and the people that are raising her. And, as I recall, you were there 24/7 for her first week of life, so way back then, you imprinted her tender little brain with your attitude."

Yesterday morning we didn't fare too well in the morning rush and left the house about 10 minutes later than I like to. I didn't take time to brush my teeth, and grabbed a Brush-Up instead. God bless the person that thought of those. Though I doubt that the original intent was for a 30-something mom running out of the house in the morning...Anyway, we were getting close to her school and I still had the thing on my finger and was "brushing" away. We were about 3 blocks from the school and she starts panicking. "Mom! Get your finger out of your mouth and throw that thing away! Mom! Pull over if you're not finished! Mom!!! Don't pull up to the school with your finger in your mouth!!! Just drop me off here!" I couldn't help laughing at the look of total mortification on her face at the thought of us pulling up where *gasp* all her friends could see her like, with her mom, like, with her, like finger all in her mouth. Like that would have been totally embarrassing for real!

This morning, as we were getting into the car for the 10-mile drive to school & work, Shelby said, "Look at me."

I bought new sunglasses yesterday after my old ones literally came apart and fell off my face as I was driving. So I looked at her and asked what exactly possessed me to buy that pair of glasses. I said "$5 compared to $9.98 and up." I didn't think they looked bad. She said, "You look like one of the Osbournes".  I asked her which one, Sharon or Kelly. Mind you, we don't even have MTV at our house, but I suppose she's probably seen them at friends' houses or online or whatever. She said, "A little like OZZY and a little like Kelly"   I still don't know quite what to make of that, and it happened an hour ago! F&*#!!!

Just to demonstrate that this smart-ass / stubborn thing didn't just start with my sisters and me, Monday Steph & I went to see our grandma who was moved into an assisted living facility just before Christmas because she was having increased trouble on her own and needed some help. The woman is in her upper 80's and like I said was independent up until about 6 weeks ago, when as she put it "They put me in this assisted living hole". She has also had a couple strokes and some TIA episodes, not to mention the 2 or 3 heart attacks along the way. Stubborn? Need I say more? Anyway, it's about a 2 hour drive from here to where she lives, and we didn't leave here until almost 10:00 that morning. So, we get there around noon and meet our aunt at the hospital where she works. We asked how gradma was doing and our aunt said "Well she's really crabby today. I took about 45 minutes of abuse already this morning." We decided to go to lunch in order for grandma to have time to finish her lunch. As we finish eating, our aunt, who we have loved and looked up to all our lives, says, "OK, you girls ready to go take your beating?" The 3 of us laughed so loud that everybody in that little diner looked at us to see what was going on. There we were sitting there with red faces, tears rolling down our cheeks, and laughing our butts off!  So we compose ourselves and go to see grandma. As we get to her room, she was just finishing wheeling herself into her room from lunch. We knocked and said hi, and she turned her head around, arched an eyebrow, and snarled at us, "Does this LOOK like 10:30 in the morning to you two?" Apparently she had gotten it into her head that we were going to be there by 10:30. We visited with her for about 2 hours and in that time, she demonstrated that she still knew everybody and what was going on in all of our lives, told the 2 of us that we work too damn hard (no argument there) and that if we didn't get up to see her more often, she was gonna have somebody paddle our ass. She was also very much like every other little old lady that I've come across in working in nursing homes and this hospital, in that she's very concerned with her bowel habits. "I can't crap!" she complained. And complained and complained some more. She even lifted up her shirt to show us how bloated (not) her belly was from not crapping. I couldn't help myself... before I knew it, I was asking, "So, Grandma are you saying you're full of crap?" I thought my aunt was gonna pass out! She had to turn her head because she was sitting next to me on the bed, and I could feel it shake from her laughing so hard. Grandma says, "Yep. That's exactly what I'm saying. I'm full of crap. And nobody's doing anything about it." I told her I wouldn't have it any other way. So, as I told the sis in Denver who had been worried about grandma, she's a crabby old bat or a batty old crab, take your pick. But either way, she's just fine. Everything has just caught up with her. She had even gotten up to walk to the bathroom and did just fine with the walker. No unsteadiness, no wobbling, or anything. Slow & steady. So for now, there's nothing to worry about, I told her. As long as she feels good enough to be crabby, she's ok.

So, ya see? I come from at least 3 previous generations of stubborn smart-asses, since my aunts and mom all told us their grandmother was the same as their mother, and seem to be doing a pretty good job of passing it on.

Have a good day everybody!