From the Lioness' Den...

"You Can Pick Your Nose, but You Can't Pick Your Family"

Whoever first said that really had their finger on something.

On Monday, my dad & his wife (I refuse to call her my step-mom 'cuz she had nothing to do with raising me or my sisters) came down to park their camper in my yard for a couple days to spend the 4th and then go do some camping and fishing around here. It should have been a relatively pleasant experience, especially since they told me not to change the plans I had already made for the 4th, they just wanted somewhere to park the camper a couple days, then move on. They'd do their own thing on the holiday. Cool. No problem.

Before I go any further ahead, I'll give you a little history. About 4 years ago my dad married this woman and after he retired from his job, moved 3 hours away to live with her so she could stay close to her family. No biggie, we wanted him to be happy and he was. But, the issue has been that ever since then we (his own 3 kids) have become "the step-family". There is a long list of "laundry" but I'll spare you that. Suffice it to say that it's a soap opera there with things like teen pregnancy, dropping out of school, abuse, etc.

So when Dad & wife got there, of course I had to be caught up on the activities of everybody on "the other side". Which is ok, I know them and am interested in what they do, don't get me wrong. Then I give him the update on Shelby and the rest of us, including that I am going back to school. I didn't expect applause, I didn't expect a parade or anything, just maybe a simple, "Good for you" or "Hey, that's great." But instead, nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. The conversation went from me telling him about school to him talking about one of her granddaughters who was going to a 2yr college but is having to take a semester off because she just found out she's pregnant again with her second baby at the age of 19. He did, however ask me, "Well how close are we to getting that car paid off that I co-signed for?"  I told him "I am about 1/2 way through the loan and it will be about another 2 1/2 years." I asked why he was asking and he said something about it coming up on his credit report. I asked if he noticed that all the payments - each and every one - have been made on time. Even while I was having problems in my marriage, even when I moved and filed for divorce, even throughout the last year that I have been on my own. This is something I have been proud of. Then I said, "You know what else I'm proud of? You will not have to worry about teenage pregnancy on this side of the family." Then, I had to turn around and leave the house because I was so pissed.

Maybe I overreacted a little, maybe not. I don't think it's so wrong to want that pat on the back from somebody who's been in my cheering section my whole life. I've decided that maybe "the other side" is more interesting because the kinds of things that are going on with them are all the things that, if we had done them as kids, he would have raised everliving hell about. That's exactly what irritates me about the whole situation. We are going about our daily lives being responsible mature adults who are trying to be productive and I am trying to do a good job raising my child.  They are anything but. I asked him if they hear as much about us as we hear about them. He said no, there usually wasn't much to talk about. Good. Fine. I'll take that as a compliment.