From the Lioness' Den...

Growing Pains

*Whew* No more working H & R Block Saturdays any more (don't know about working there next tax season)  and the Monday night class is over for this term - yay!  Maybe I will have some time to take a breath - and spend w/my daughter.

I found out she emailed my sisters and told them that she wanted more time alone with me but couldn't talk to me herself.  I asked her about this, and she said she didn't know how to bring it up and she didn't want to hurt my feelings.  I let her know that it felt like I was being tattled on and

my feelings were more hurt by her going to her aunts instead of coming to me first.  She would say "I don't want to go to Leo's" or "I don't want to hang out with the kids" but when I asked why or what she wanted to do instead, she would just shrug her shoulders or not acknowledge the fact that I spoke at all. From all that, apparently I was supposed to infer that she really meant she wanted to spend more alone time with me.  huh.  As we were loudly discussing this whole issue, she said "You should be able to tell by my actions what I'm thinking."  Yeah. right.  I told her that I would much rather have her come to me directly and talk about stuff rather than involving my sisters.  Sis3 didn't say much, just told me about the email she got and sent me a copy of her reply which basically told Shelby that she really needed to talk to me about things.  Sis2 on the other hand, felt entitled to call me and rag on me about how I'm neglecting the kid and how I need to change things so that I spend more time with her and I need to do this, that and the other thing.......  OK, so in your infinite knowledge of raising kids, you have dealt with this issue first hand???? I DON'T THINK SO!  If you want to tell someone how to raise their kids, then have your own!  I don't get mad at my sisters very often, but when it comes to them telling me how to raise my daughter, that's one sure way to push every one of my buttons. I don't tell them how to run their lives and I damn sure don't need them to tell me how to run mine.

Shelby also lost her cell phone on Easter out in Leo's yard - and nobody noticed until two of the kids found it Saturday.  It layed out there for a whole week getting rained and snowed on.  It was dead of course when she brought it inside and she started asking about a new phone.  I told her that if this one couldn't be saved by drying it out and recharging it, then I would get a new cell phone and she would get my old phone.  Of course this was so totally unfair, and I was being mean.  I told her that the bill comes in my name not hers, and the money to pay it comes out of my account not hers.  I also said that if that solution wasn't good enough, we could just cancel her number and save me about $30 a month.  She didn't like that answer either.  Last night, she was at A's house while I was in class.  A took her home after supper and at 8:30 I called during a break and A answered Shelby's phone. She said Shelby left the phone at her house.  YET ANOTHER REASON that she will not get a new phone.  And yes, I made sure to mention that this morning as we were getting dressed and ready to leave home.

She lipped off to Leo Sunday night, which he didn't appreciate so he came down on her pretty hard - just like he would his own kids.  She didn't think he should be doing that and I reminded her that his rules needed to be followed when she was at his house and disrespect definitely violated the rules.  (this was while we were having the whole discussion yesterday morning.)  She said "He doesn't need to be doing that. I have a dad."   OH NO SHE DIDN'T!!!   Fortunately I was able to grit my teeth and clamp my jaw shut when she let that one fly because if I hadn't there would have been some colorful stuff flying out of my mouth about her so-called dad.  'Cuz he's been such a big part of her life the last couple years and was such a wonderful parent when he was in the picture.  

So there was the big blow-up Monday, yesterday was kind of a cooling off day - she didn't speak to my unless I spoke directly to her and she was very guarded when she did talk, and today maybe she'll start talking to me for real again.  This teenager thing is gonna suck!

Wow!

9:00 PM, Apr. 17, 2007 .. Posted by davey327

I feel for you. Our daughter was a breeze but our son put us through the ringer, he's twenty and just now catching on. Sounds like you're handling it well though.

OH my gosh!

2:07 PM, Apr. 18, 2007 .. Posted by krispybutterfly

You know my daughter is very mouthy too. She gets mad if we don't have a social calendar for the weekend. Right now, we just can't afford to go out and do something every weekend. We love our kids, but money is tight. I worked Saturday and when I came home, her lip was poked all out because she wanted to go somewhere. I told her to go outside and play on the trampoline or ride one of her 2 bikes, or watch one of her 50 movies, or play her Playstation 2 or her computer. GAWD. And she's not even 12 yet.