From the Lioness' Den...

Cautious? or Crazy?

I wonder why I have a problem when Leo wants to be serious and talk about "the future" and what we see for ourselves - as a couple.  You would think he'd be the one that would have problems, given the facts that (1) he's not even legally divorced yet; and (2) he's already gone the marriage route twice and neither of those worked out.  

The 1st time was when he was really young and that wife got homesick after they moved to another state for his job so she just didn't go back with him one year after Thanksgiving.  The 2nd time he married a psycho nut-job that kept her true colors hidden until after they were married and had kids.  *more on this one in the "big entry"  I'm waiting to write until all their legal proceedings are done*

We've been together for almost a year already. (! Time flies, I guess)  So far, it's been a very good thing.  We are compatible on every level.  We like the same things, dislike the same things, have the same philosophies about raising kids, our dogs even all get along with each other.  I love being with him and with his kids, (I hate when the weekends end and I have to go back home), Shelby loves him and gets along with the kids like they've been siblings their whole lives, (she's a little happier to go home after the weekends though). So what's the problem?????

Maybe it's too good...maybe I'm scared that if we did go the next step something would happen to screw it all up.  Maybe I don't want to get too comfortable and then have things blow up.

He asked what I saw for us in the future...and automatically the guard went up, the doors closed and I couldn't be serious. I said "Well in 50 years, we'll probably both be dead." I would much rather just take things very slowly.  We both feel like we were made for each other.  I want to at least be close to finishing school before we do anything silly like getting married.  Moving in together isn't such a bad thought, but I don't even want to talk about that yet.  Let's just acknowledge the fact that we know this is going somewhere and not worry about a time table.  Anybody else ever feel this way???

Untitled Comment

9:26 PM, May. 29, 2007 .. Posted by davey327

Sounds perfectly normal to me. I don't have any experience here but obviously you've had a bad relationship in the past, sounds like you're just gunshy and need to take it nice and slow. If he loves you he'll just have to wait on you. Good luck.

Wondering

4:46 AM, May. 30, 2007 .. Posted by oddkids

Can the relationship stay the way it is. I mean does it have to move on, if it's good now why change?

Just a thought?

10:36 AM, May. 31, 2007 .. Posted by Anonymous

Hello,
I don't know you nor do I know "Leo".
Buuuuuuuuttttttttttttttttt,
How secure does he feel with you and the relationship, is he secure and confident with it and you, or is he looking (whether he knows it or not?) for some type of reassurance from you, and in you that you are OK, and the relationship is OK? Don't forget from the sounds of things. He's coming from a "BAD PLACE" to?
Good Luck & God Bless!

That's a good point

10:46 AM, May. 31, 2007 .. Posted by redsmom94

I know both previous relationships have left him hurting pretty bad. I've done my best to let him know that I don't plan on going anywhere, and as I constantly remind him "I'm not like most other women". I think we're both pretty secure in the relationship but yeah, he may be looking for reassurance. We're going away for the weekend and I plan on having a meaningful talk with him about "us".