From the Lioness' Den...

According to Plan

Once the dust settled from the upheaval in my life last August, and I got unemployment and school funding all straightened out, I decided that my ideal plan would be to enjoy the fall off, have a stress-free holiday season, and worry about getting a new job after the first of the year.  I am happy to report that I can check that whole list off. Check, check, and CHECK!  The fall was beautiful, I had the first stress-free holiday season in years (about 7 in fact) and on January 3rd, received 3 job offers. I picked the best one, and voila! Started work this past Monday.

During December, we had a couple bad ice storms.  In the past, I would have had to brave the treacherous roads and go to work and deal with all the call-ins from people who wouldn't get out on the roads, as well as the ones who did and were pissed off at the ones who didn't.  Heh. I just sat at my desk, tipped back in my chair a little, put my feet up, and enjoyed my morning coffee while watching the ice & snow fall out the big picture window in my dining room.  It amused me more than a little bit to think of the former boss, Jayne (I can name her now) and the others trying to deal with all the shit. Every time it has snowed or iced since I have thoroughly enjoy picturing that little scenario. Ha! Stress free holidays? You bet. I had all the Christmas cards out to mine & Leo's sides the 1st  Saturday of December.  I even sent one to Jayne and wrote in it, "I hope your holiday season is as stress free as mine is this year..." We went to all the kids' programs, Leo and I had one big shopping day for the kids, Christmas was good, and New Years was spent at home with the kids playing games & watching movies. Leo took vacation that week and redid the last 2 bedrooms. Now all 4 kids have a room of their own with updated cool colors, and each one has a unique feature that makes it their special space. (Good lord, I sound like a home decorating show.) D has 3 different colors and a plastic chain going the length of her room to hang all of her stuffed monkeys on.  N has 2 colors and shelves around all 4 walls to put his collection of semi's on, K has 2 colors and a huge dolphin mural that takes up one whole wall, and Shelby has 2 colors and a vinyl mural of a crescent moon and stars.

I had a 3-week break from school. Along with starting the new job this past Monday, I also had class every night.  The past week has been a flex term where in 7 days, you get a complete 3-credit couse out of the way. Next week starts the regular term and I will be going to class 3 nights a week again. I call the last week Hell Week. I had to work 7:30 a.m. - 4 p.m. and had class 6 - 9 p.m.   The new job is in Lincoln, which is where I go to school. I only have to make one round trip per day, but it made for some loooong days. The drive from my house to work or school is about 45 minutes. That part I don't like so much, especially when work starts at 7:30 a.m. The job is 30 hrs per week filling in around 3 full-time people's days off. I am a unit secretary at a rehabilitation hospital. (traumatic injuries, strokes, etc. not drug & alcohol) Depending on whose station I cover, I either work 7:30 a.m.-4 pm or 9:30 a.m. - 6 p.m.  The shifts til 6 are going to make me a little late for class, but that's not a huge deal. It's only about 10 minutes between the 2.  Shelby has had to adjust to the new schedule right along with me and she didn't like it at all.  Especially leaving our house before 6:30 a.m. so I can drop her off at A's house so she has a ride to school.  She was really whining about it one day, and I told her to knock it off 'cuz I had heard enough.  I told her to be thankful I found a job that pays well and she'd just have to understand that the flexibility I had with the last job is gone. Oh well, so is the stress and the bullshit.

Leo's divorce FINALLY went through court on Dec. 21.  Yay!  A couple of my friends said, "ooooooooooooooooh I bet you get a ring for Christmas."  Uh, as much as things seem to be going in that direction, I wasn't expecting or wanting that.  I like things just the way they are. I still like coming home to my own house (even if it is just to sleep) and having my own little world my way.  I know that once we combine households (our favorite pet phrase lately) that will pretty much disappear.  With 6 people under the same roof all the time, most of that will be just a fond memory.  The current situation does have its down side in the fact that we live about 30 minutes apart. There are definitely times during the week when I would love nothing more than to be with Leo, but it's not happenin' any time soon. 

Leo's ex, PsychoBitch is a real piece of work.  The attorneys had a long drawn out visitation/parenting schedule worked out as part of the divorce agreement. Supposedly it was geared toward her gradually working up to having the kids overnight one night every other weekend by summer of 2009. At the rate she's goin' it'll never happen.  She's supposed to have the kids for a 4-5 hour block of time each day every third weekend while Leo works. She hasn't made it through a whole weekend since they started this arrangement in November.  We are keeping a journal of all of her cancellations, changes and reasons for them so when it goes for a review, he can present the journal as his reasoning for not allowing her to have the kids overnight, or for any increase in visitation for that matter. If she can't handle what she's been given to start out with, why should she have more?

Dumbass is still living up to his name.  He might as well live up to something cuz he sure as hell isn't living up to the child support order.  He left the state supposedly to work for a contractor setting up new Walmarts.  I got $25 c/s in July and nothing since.  He pretty much ignores Shelby.  He calls her every once in a while but she doesn't stay on the phone with him very long. He never calls me to ask if I need anything for her or that sort of thing. He told her he sent her something for Christmas but um, Christmas was 18 days ago and NOTHING!  But, here's the Dumbass part.  He called her a couple days before Christmas and was talking about his new girlfriend Beverly.  He also gave Shelby Beverly's address to send him one of her pictures. AND the two of them took a picture of themselves together and texted it to Shelby's phone from Beverly's phone........DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How stupid is that? So, I copied the address down, and got the phone number from  Shelby's phone and called the county attorney's office with it the next day.  I know it probably won't do much if any good, but it made me feel better anyway.  The county attorney's office did tell me that there is a warrant out for his arrest for Child Abandonment.  It won't do any good though, because it's only a misdemeanor and will not show up unless he has law enforcment contact back here in Nebraska.  Shelby came home from school the other day and told me she needs new running shoes for PE 'cuz the ones she has are getting too small. (Bigfoot!) I told her I would call Dumbass and tell him she needed them since his "Chrismas present" hadn't arrived. huh...now that I think of it, the one from Christmas '06 hasn't gotten here yet either. hmmmm..... So, I tried calling his phone and got nothing. It went right away to a recording telling me that the subscriber is unavailable.  Soooooooooo, since I had Beverly's number handy, I called it.  I got voicemail (of course) and the greeting said, "Hey, this is Bev and Lance (Dumbass' real name) we can't take your call........" hmmmmm cohabitating, are we??????????  So I left her a message asking her to have him call me about Shelby.  10 minutes later Shelby got a text from Beverly asking if she's OK because I left that message.  Needless to say, that sent me over the edge - who the hell does she think she is sticking her damn nose in? Does she know my daughter? Has she ever met her? NOPE!  I don't even get involved when Leo and PsychoBitch need to talk about D, N, & K. She has no business getting in the middle or trying to drag Shelby in. Yes, I asked her to have Dumbass call me.  That's all the involvement she needs to have. gah! I still haven't gotten a return call.

I have a laptop ordered. After looking at the class syllabi for the next term, it's pretty much essential. I'm taking 3 classes and all of them require a final paper of at least 5 pages! So, even though I won't have internet at home, I will be able to type my papers and Shelby can do her papers & powerpoints for school. It will have wi-fi, so all I need to do is go to a place that has wi-fi and get online there.  And, since it's purchased for school - 2008 TAX DEDUCTION!

That's the latest from The Den...good holiday season, Leo & the kids are all great, Dumbass is still a Dumbass, PsychoBitch is one of a kind, I got a job, and school is going well - the 4.0 continues too.  I am thanking my lucky stars!

Give yourself more credit

6:49 PM, Jan. 14, 2008 .. Posted by AndeeDawn

You said you are thanking your lucky stars.....my dear, luck has nothing to do with it. Pat yourself on the back. You deserve it.

Life with ex's sure can be an....ummmmm....shall we say an adventure sometimes? We've got an issue going on with my stepdaughter right now, which I don't feel like going into right now. But, I might email you about it in a day or two. I would love to have some objective feedback.

I was so happy to hear about your job. I know it feels good to be back at work, despite the long days. My classes have just started back this week. I've doubled my course load so I'm still trying to get my mind wrapped around all the work I have in store.

Take care of yourself & try to check in more often. You've been missed.

Untitled Comment

4:20 PM, Mar. 28, 2008 .. Posted by Newfieswoman

Ah, me knows everything is gonna be fine. And everything ok on the home and school front, yes?? Them's the important things and do not forget that.

Don't be so hard on yerself. Yer doing just fine. Me knows it in me soul. Yer braver and stronger than me will ever be. ;)