From the Lioness' Den...

The Boundaries Are Being Tested

About once a year since about age 2, Shelby tests her boundaries to see if they've expanded any. I've been waiting for it this year, and figured it would be worse since I split with her dad. It started last Wednesday. Both that day and this past Sunday, she was supposed to be a certain place until a certain time, when I was supposed to pick her up. Both days, she took it upon herself to decide it was OK to leave and not ask me first.  On Wednesday, she did try to call because there was a message in my voicemail from her at work. That day, I left work @ noon to go to a Dr. appt with a friend, which she knew I was doing. That afternoon at about 4:00 I got a call from her dad asking why she was walking around town if she was supposed to be elsewhere. I didn't know, but I did find her and ask what the deal was. She said she & a friend decided they wanted to walk to church for midweek classes that day right after school and when she couldn't get ahold of me, decided to go anyway. After asking her what she thought would happen when I got there when I was supposed to pick her up and didn't find her, and explaining what would have happened, I cut her a break and let her off with a warning since she did try to call and ask permission first.  BUT! Then on Sunday, I dropped her off at 9:45 a.m. for the activity she was supposed to be at and told her I would be there at noon to pick her up afterwards. She had said she didn't want to stay for the second part of it, but I told her she needed to and I expected her to do the whole thing. Long story short, she came walking thru the door (at our house. 8 miles away from where I dropped her off.)  at 11:30, courtesy of her dad.  I asked why she was home. She said "I TOLD you I wasn't going to stay for the whole thing." At that point, I informed her that she was grounded for at least a week since I had just warned her on Wednesday about the same thing. THEN I called her dad. I asked him just what exactly he was thinking when she called him to pick her up and what made him think it was OK to do that when he knew what she was doing and why she needed to stay the whole time. "Well she was crying when she called. She cried all the way to your house." Hmmm. Funny, there wasn't a tear in her eye when I saw her. I told him she played him like a master violinist and he needed to get a backbone with her and not come to her rescue every time I make her do something she doesn't want to.  It was one of those times I just wanted to scream as loud as I could. Anybody have any words of wisdom here?

In other news, the tax class is going OK. I can handle it so far, and hopefully can continue to. When it started there was only me and one other person, and then she ended up not coming back. So, I guess you can say I'm in a class all by myself!  Yes, I know, cheap humor but sometimes anything's better than nothing! OK, enough rambling, just thought I'd let you know I'm still here. Hope everyone has a peaceful week.

Untitled Comment

1:05 PM, Sep. 28, 2005 .. Posted by Bruinsmama

No words of wisdom, just prayers for strength!
B